Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
