I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
