Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
