So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
