is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
