hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
