i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
