Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
