just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
