If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I have demons in me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
