If that was your dad, he is hot
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
