It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
