I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
