In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
