So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
