the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
