when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
