I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
