we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
