Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
