The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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