I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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