What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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