Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
