Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
