i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
