My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
