Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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