you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
