Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
