if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
