I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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