I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
