The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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