In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He felt like a one man threesome
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
