haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
