For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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