i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
