I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im six kinds of drunk right now
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
