Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
