They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
