Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
