he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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