I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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