I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
