CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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