I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
only if we run a train.
done.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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