I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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