Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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