does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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