i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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