He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize